Monday, February 25, 2008


So at one point this weekend I was talking to my cousin and his new Bride. It was 3am and we were all a little under the influence of cheer and spirits, but I imparted some wisdom to the new couple.

In order to have a long and happy marriage do three things:

FIGHT: never stew on anything, let it out and get it out. Holding it in causes resentment and building anger, which will then explode when you least expect it.

NEVER SAY ANYTHING YOU CANNOT TAKE BACK: fights and arguments are heated things but you must always have some idea of who you are talking to.

ALWAYS SAY I LOVE YOU AND GIVE A KISS GOODNIGHT: this is different from an apology, it is fine to apologize for the fight but if you have a position that you are not backing off of then keep it. You should say you are sorry it became a fight and that you love her (or him) and we can continue with calmer heads tomorrow.

It is that simple. Being in 'love' with someone it is easy to do the nice things, flowers and gifts, dinner and a movie, opening the door, knowing their favorite movie or color or song. But to get into a good fight and be able to to do the latter is LOVE. We have had many fights over 15 years of marriage, you cannot get through life without strongly disagreeing on something. I have never ever called her more than a jerk or ass (not asshole) and have always kissed her goodnight and apologized for the argument (never the topic itself). I have gotten the cold shoulder at times but before we drift off to sleep I do get acknowledgement that I was heard and understood...

And that is a big reason we are still HAPPILY together after all these years....

Till Next Time


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