True Stories

True Story 1:

My mother had to pick up the boy's football gear for practice the other day. It hadn't been washed so was in a bag in the garage. When she picked it up, boy did it STINK (we later realized it was his arm pads that we had never washed after 8 games and 22 practices, P.U.). So she put it on the passenger seat, opened the window, and headed home. Did I mention my 1 year old nephew in the back, pissed off and ready for a nap.

So here is Mom haulin' ass back to her house with angry baby and stinky uniform when the blue and red lights appear in here rear view mirror. After she pulls over the officer approaches in the passenger side as there is no shoulder and it is a busy road.

Cop: "I had to do 60 just to catch up to ...phew......." as he stuck his head in the passenger window.

Mom: "Sorry officer"

Cop: "Is that the baby??"

Mom: "No, my other grandson's football uniform."

Cop: "OK, keep it under the speed limit and just get home right away."

Mom: "Thank you....."

True Story 2:

The wife was getting gas ($2.04) last night when the guy pumping gas in front of her says:

Man: "Hey, Rochester"

Wife: "Excuse me?"

Man: "Rochester, New York right"

Wife:"um, yea, do I know you or is it tattooed to my forehead?"

Man: "No your car is from Dorschel Ford and I know that is in Rochester."

Wife: "You from there too?"

Man: "No Mame, Buffalo, but I am a Navy Recruiter and went there quite a bit."

Wife: "How do you like Indy?"

Man" "Sucks worse than Buffalo!"

Wife: "Suck?!?!? Rochester is better than Buffalo and Indy is way better than Rochester.."

Man: "I am a Navy Recruiter, do you have any idea how far the nearest body of water is?!?!?!"

Wife: "Point taken, take care."